Sakura Wars: So Long my Love

I own several never-been-played games. It's a terrible habit. I also have a subscription to Gamefly. Before I impulsively download a new game or run out to Toys 'r' Us to see if there are any good deals, I have to stop and think about what I already have, and what hasn't been played yet. Gamefly sent me Sakura Wars: So Long my Love...10 weeks ago. I finally decided to pick it up and am about 8.5 hours into it.

I started to get into all things "geeky" when I was in 6th-7th grade. The first Sakura Taisen game came out around that time. If I played this game when I was 12, it would have been the best game ever. It took 14 years for this series to reach North America, and I had to spend the first couple hours of the game cringing at the portrayals of a steam-powered New York and its citizens. This game is very story heavy. Unfortunately, the plot of this story is also very thin. It's probably because this is a dating simulation. I'm going to list them to you. Maybe you'll think I have zero imagination, but maybe you'll think you're getting too old for this shit. I'll start with 19-year-old Taiga Shinjiro.


He's scrawny and short. He looks nothing like his much more attractive uncle (or whatever) that owns a shop in Mid-Town. If you're into boys that look like girls and are completely and utterly non-threatening, this is the guy for you...and apparently all the women of Sakura Wars. Speaking of the women of Sakura Wars...


This is Gemini Sunrise. She's from Texas. Can't you tell? She lives in her studio apartment with her horse, Larry. She also seems to have a samurai fetish because Texan girls knew everything about Samurai back in 1928.


This is Cherion. She used to be a part of a gang that was made up of non-white people. Now, she is a lawyer. Only 8 years after women earned the right to vote, this minority woman from the ghetto managed to become a lawyer. Amazing!


This is Speedy Gonzales. Um, I mean Rosita. She loves shooting guns. Maybe that got her kicked out of Mexico, but here in the States, she rocks the Second Amendment.

That's the weasel that she keeps as a secondary food supply. His name is Niccolo, but I like to call him Nico Bellic.



This is Diana Caprice. She is a doctor, needs a wheelchair, hangs around Central Park feeding birds all day, and is a vegetarian...LOL Japan.


This is Subaru. Every time she shows up, I think of SUVs. Now, I'm going to go into some actual Asian-American history here. In Victorian times, it was considered taboo to have sex with Asian women because some Americans thought they all looked the same. As in, the girls looked just like the boys. So, when something becomes a sexual taboo, it will no doubt become hot to someone. Well then I must say, Subaru is totally hot.


Ah, Ratchet Altair. You kind of remind me of another character from a ridiculous game. This is also a great illustration, to show you who Ratchet is exactly.



This is Cherry Cocker. I think Shinjiro must have seen her in All Anal on the Western Front via a steam powered DVD Player once.


Anri is hapa; Asian American, if you will. She came all the way from Seattle...in 1928. I bet it took her like, 6 months to get to New York. For some reason, she wants to wear kimono all the time, while the other Japanese characters don't.

What Could be Missing
There is something in me that made me think that I loved dating sims, and I was sad they were rarely brought here. All I had were the Harvest Moon games, Thousand Arms, and Bible Black. None of which, by the way, are anything like each other at all. Especially Bible Black. In case you couldn't tell from the way I described these characters, I think my suspension of disbelief is not what it used to be.

Though, after a lot of dialogue and a couple of battles, I found myself wanting to play more. I'm not asking for an H game here, but it would help if Taiga could actually get laid in the game. You know, get it on with Gemini Sunrise while Larry watches from his hay pile. The game is so ridiculous, you'd think it'll happen, but it doesn't. You don't even have to show anything, NIS! Then again, he is pretty pathetic. He maybe surrounded by chicks, but I don't think he's getting any even if that option was available in the game. I suppose he gets one in the end, though.

LIPS System
Anyway, as I've mentioned in this blog before, I've been playing Dragon Quest IX. I've put about 40 hours into it, and I'm at level 39, 39, and 38. I don't play for the story. I just play for old school RPG goodness. In other words, grinding. Fight after fight after fight. Sakura Wars has this pace of two different systems. There is something called the Live & Interactive Picture System (LIPS). There three kinds. Normal LIPS is when you are given a multiple choice question. Each answer will give you good or bad points with the character you're talking to. Analog LIPS is when you can raise a gauge up or down, determining the amount of umpf in your action....ahahahah it'd be amazing if you could do something dirty to a character and then be given analog LIPS. Okay, anyway the third is Stick LIPS. That's when you are directed which way to use the analog stick to raise a gauge. Half of the game is using this LIPS system.

Strategic Warfare
The other half of the game is epic, tactical, turn-based, giant robot chess. You have a set number of turns/moves, and it represented by a gauge. You can use this guage up by moving, attacking, joint attacking, or healing. You can also use SuperMoves, but those require SP, which you earn by taking damage or using up turns to earn SP. The long cinematics that come with some of the attacks can be a nuisance, but I find the basic battle system enjoyable.

Conclusion
The game is separated into chapters. There are not a lot of save points. It's annoying because I've actually had to turn off the PS3 in between save points, and then redo whatever I went through when I start up again. I'm about halfway through the game. Even though the game seems silly, I still want to answer all the questions right and beat other giant robots taking over New York City.

It makes me unhappy when I hear that something like Ponyo or Spirited Away was not successful because it was "too Japanese." I love my Gloomy Bear slippers. I was devastated to hear of Satoshi Kon's death. The first anime I ever loved was Ranma. I'm not really sure what happened to me when I first started this game, feeling irritated by Tenchi-Muyo-esque situations. I've probably seen it too much. Though, recently, I've played a lot of Monday Night Combat and Left 4 Dead 2, and I feel it is best for me to have a wide variety of games to enjoy.